


Seeing Sound

by AppleCiderr



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Arson, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Depressed Orihara Izaya, Depression, Escape Through Music, F/F, F/M, Goodbyes, Izaya Needs a Hug, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, Piano, Running Away, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Blame, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-09-21 08:26:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9539681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleCiderr/pseuds/AppleCiderr
Summary: Izaya Orihara finally does the one thing that nobody expects, he leaves. But why? Well, nobody cared enough to look, especially when he was finally out of their lives. But, a day will come where they meet again, and that will be the day when they will learn just how fragile the great Orihara Izaya truly is.





	1. Goodbye

 

Izaya Orihara always seemed to do what people never expected, he always had something up his sleeve, always was 20 steps ahead of the rest of the world. Despite everyone’s wishes, he was like a roach, a flea, a parasite. No matter how hard you tried to get rid of him, he would always come back eventually. Despite what everyone wanted, they expected him to always be around, unfortunately. That’s when he did the one thing nobody expected, he left.

 

– – – – – – –

 

Namie huffed, running a hand through her long hair as she sat at her desk in her home. She was checking her email again, for lack of anything better to do. Things had been getting more violent in the cities sometimes, so she preferred to work at home unless she had to. However, Izaya tended to force her to go to his apartment to cook for her anyways, threatening her paycheck. Ugh.. She really hated working for people.

 

Speaking of which, she saw an email from her boss, from one of his many email address that he liked to use. She huffed, clicking on it, as she wondered what he would be doing today to torment her. What would it be? Color coding manila folders? Cooking him hotpot? She could only imagine what stupid task he wanted. But she opened the email, and found herself confused.

 

_[Dear Namie,_

 

_I apologize for the way I treated you. You are now fired, as I am leaving Ikebukuro, I’m leaving Tokyo all together. I know you’ve had another job offer for a long time, so go ahead and take it. I won’t be in your life anymore, I hope you are thankful._

 

_Your last paycheck has already been wired to your account._

 

_Goodbye.]_

 

Goodbye? Goodbye?! He was leaving? Why would he do that? Sure, Izaya had gone underground before, but he always came back. But once again, why would he leave? Izaya was at the top of the world, he could crush any gang between his slimy fingers and use them for his twisted game. Why leave?

 

Wait, why did she care? She got her last paycheck, after all, and she was already planning to quit and go work for Nebula. Now she could do that. She hummed, closing Izaya’s email and moving to send one to someone else. She had a flight to America to make.

 

– – – – – – –

 

Shiki stared at the letter in front of him with slight annoyance.

 

Izaya’s simple letter, telling him that he was resigning for reasons he wouldn’t reveal, and that Shiki shouldn’t bother trying to track him down.

 

 _‘I’m not just quitting being your broker, I’m quitting being a broker_ _entirely_ _, but don’t worry, what information you did give me I destroyed. I will never reveal your secrets, as long as you let me leave,’_ The letter read.

 

Normally, something like this would leave Shiki furious, before he went and sent some members to bring back the traitor and kill them. But, Izaya never betrayed them. In fact, he was usually one of the more helpful people. He had never insulted or attacked Shiki personally, so he decided to grant Izaya this chance. If he was leaving, Shiki could always find a new broker, and maybe the chaos in the city would die down after a while.

 

Standing up, Shiki took the letter and threw it in the trash.

 

He would soon push any thoughts of Orihara Izaya to the back of his mind.

 

And forget.

 

– – – – – –

 

“Yo, I-zay-a,” Simon waved,”Sushi miss you, come have sushi~!”

 

The raven had been walking with his head down, his hood all the way up and jacket zipped up, hands in his pockets. When Simon called him, Izaya jerked slightly, before looking over at Simon. His hood blocked his face, Simon could not see it.

 

“I actually thing I’ll take some to go Simon, thanks,” He said, in a strangely quiet voice. Simon didn’t comment on it, though his lips did grow into a frown.

 

Simon turned and walked into Russian Sushi. If he had been paying more attention to the raven behind him, he may have noticed Izaya stumble, grabbing onto the side of the building for support, before pushing himself up and walking slowly after him.

 

It only took a few minutes to put together the box, but Simon found time to finally ask Izaya about his behavior. “ _Oi, why the strange behavior?_ ” He asked the hooded man in Russia. Izaya didn’t respond for a moment, wanting until the packaged box was in his shaky hands.

 

“ _I’m going away Simon, I’m not coming back,_ ” He replied, his voice shaking slightly,” _I came in to say goodbye_ ”

 

Simon tilted his head. “Goodbye? For good?” He asked, this time in Japanese. “Are you gonna cause trouble somewhere else?”

 

“No, Simon, I’m leaving forever, I’m leaving this job forever,” Izaya said,”Please.. Just don’t try and find me, okay?” His body had started to shake, Simon could tell something was scaring Izaya, and didn’t have the heart to question him more.

 

He tried to hand Simon the money, but he refused to let him pay, calling it a goodbye present. Izaya left Russian Sushi as quick as possible afterwards. He wanted to stop, but he knew he still had a few more visits to make.

 

– – – – – –

 

“I think she was reincarnated as the flower”

 

“That’s stupid, why would she be a flower?”  


Erika huffed, leaning against the side of the car. “Because, Walker, it’s paradise, that’s why. Didn’t you read the full manga of Wolfs Rain?” She questioned him.

 

“But who wants to be a flower in a paradise? I’d much rather be a superhero!” Walker said, eyes creasing even more in excitement.

 

“No, Walker! You can’t be a superhero in a paradise?”

 

“Eeeh~? Why not?”

 

“Because It’s _a paradise!_ There’s nothing wrong!” Erika continued, before seeing a familiar coat. “Ah! Iza-Iza! Hello!” She waved excitedly, though Izaya didn’t wave back.

 

He looked towards them, hood hiding his face, as replied,”Hello, Erika, what are you guys up to?” Kadota blinked at the different tone his voice had taken, it was quiet, and soft. It was.. Strange..

 

“I’m trying to explain to Walker why you can’t be a superhero in a paradise, especially in Wolf’s Rain, only wolves could find paradise-!”

 

“Well I don’t want to be a wolf, I wanna be a _motherfucking superhero!_ ”

 

Kadota scoffed, crossing his arms. “Why does it even matter? It’s fiction, it’s not like it’s real,” He said in drowsily.

 

This seemed to make Erika and Walker return to each others’ sides as they yelled at Kadota, telling him random things that supposedly showed that Manga and anime was the work of gods and their warnings towards the humans of Earth.

 

“Nothing is that important in this world, except my Ruri,” Saburo said simply, before placing his hand over his heart in a happy sigh.

 

Walker snorted and replied,”Right, her recognizing you and actually talking to you is a work of fiction, Sabu-kun!”

 

“What?! Why you little-”

 

The sound of soft laughter cut through their argument, it was Izaya’s laughter. But it wasn’t evil laughter, it was the laughter one would make when remembering happy times in their life.

 

“You guys never change,” Izaya said quietly, before looking up slightly,”Please keep it that way..” He then turned, walking away.

 

They watched him go silently. He hadn’t told them anything, but for some reason they felt like this would be the last time they’d see him for a long time.

 

– – – – – – –

 

Mikado has been checking his mail outside, wondering if he had anything he needed to pay, when he found two envelopes. One had his name, while the other the last had Anri’s name on it.

 

He opened his. It was from Izaya. Everything was in it, from the fact that Izaya was the one who gave away the Dollars password, to what he did to Kida and Saki. Why was he telling him this? Was he apologizing?

 

 _‘I am telling you all this because I need to make up for all I have done, and because I am leaving. This is my goodbye,’_ His handwriting became more sloppy as the letter went on. _‘Please deliver these letters to your friend,_ _Kida and Saki have already been sent one as well. This is the last you will ever hear from me’_

 

At the bottom of the page, it read:

 

‘ _And please, Mikado-kun, don’t become a monster like me’_

 

– – – – – –

 

When Shinra’s phone rang, he wasn’t sure what to expect.

 

But he certainly wasn’t expecting Izaya.

 

Izaya never called, he just came when he wanted, even if he wasn’t injured. But this time, he called, and Shinra was slightly worried.

 

“Shinra, I moved Celty’s head,” Izaya told him,”I’ll be sending you the address, you are now in charge of it”

 

“Wait, why? Did something happen?” He asked, worried. Did someone try to steal his beloved’s head again?

 

Izaya seemed to be taking a while to respond,”I’m leaving Shinra, I’m leaving Tokyo and I’m not coming back, I’m not taking Celty’s head with me”

 

Shinra didn’t know what to think, as he asked,”Why?” Izaya didn’t respond once more, something sounded like sniffs in the background.

 

“Shinra, I can’t explain why. Just know that everyone will be much safer with me gone, don’t look for me, you’ll only do more harm than good,” The raven declared,”And can I tell you one thing?”

 

“W-what?”

 

“You should tell Celty about the head, it’s unfair to keep secrets from her,” Izaya told him firmly,”She loves you Shinra, she won’t leave you because of this”

 

Shinra wanted to argue with him about that, wanted to ask where Izaya was going, but Izaya didn’t give him a chance to speak.

 

“Thank you Shinra.. For being my only friend,” Izaya whispered into the phone,”Goodbye”

 

The phone clicked off, and Shinra knew that his friend was probably far away by now.

 

– – – – – –

 

Shizuo could smell him.

 

He knew the fucking flea was here somewhere.

 

With that parasite in his city, he wouldn’t be able to get any _FUCKING WORK DONE!_ Shizuo pulled himself away from Tom, the man not noticing that he was gone, but he would soon after Shizuo threw something at the flea.

 

He grabbed a trash can, grabbing it and carrying it towards where he smelled the flea. That’s when he found him, he was walking towards the train station. His hand was on the wall next to him, lazily holding onto it.

 

“Shizu-chan,” The flea suddenly said,” Please, just let me leave. I’m going away forever, that’s what you wanted, right? Me to get out of Ikebukuro..”

 

His voice was so detached, so empty, that Shizuo almost believed him for a second. But Izaya was a liar, and a bully. He probably was trying to trick him.

 

“Yeah right!” Shizuo snarled, clutching to the metal of the trash can so hard that he was denting it. “You’re probably lying! You’ll leave, and then come back when you think everyone is least expecting it and then destroy other people’s lives!”

 

Izaya’s shoulders slumped, and for a second Shizuo thought he was about to confess, or turn and throw a knife, but then he spoke.

 

“Shizuo,” He said, causing Shizuo to jolt slightly. “Please just let me leave, I’ll promise you I’ll never come back..”

 

“Why should I believe your promise?” He growled out, and Izaya didn’t turn around, as he replied,”I paid off all your debts from our fights”

 

Shizuo jerked up in shock, and dropped his trash can. “Y-you what?” He croaked,”Why? Why would you.. Why would someone like you do something like that?!”

 

“It’s my apology”

 

“Apology?”  


“Yes. I’m sorry Shizuo, I promise.. I’ll never come back..”

 

Izaya was apologizing? Izaya was begging?

 

Shizuo couldn’t move, eventually Izaya realized this, and then turned to walk away. He continued towards the station, while Shizuo stood there dumbfounded, until Izaya was out of sight.

 

The next day, several confused people would search, but their searches were in vain. Then, they would ask themselves why they were searching for a person who caused nothing but hatred, and stop. Orihara Izaya was gone, where he went? Nobody knew, and frankly nobody cared.

 

After all, the world continued to move..

 

 


	2. Eye to Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo's rage at the sight of illegal activity leads to some unforeseen consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to update, but I'll be sure to update again soon, and it'll be longer

\-- -- -- -- --

Ikebukuro

Three Years Later

\-- -- -- -- -- -- 

 

The sky above the city was a mix of different colors, around sunset, and clear of any clouds. It was a warm, calm summer day. Students had a break, people were vacationing, gangs weren’t causing as much trouble, and if you overlooked the occasional gang fight or police chase, Ikebukuro was the most peaceful it had been in years.

 

_ Of course, there’s one more reason for that.. _ Shizuo thought, taking another long drag of his cigarette. Yes, even though everyone seemed to have forgotten, he still remembered that day. That day Izaya did the one thing Shizuo never expected him to do: Leave Ikebukuro and never come back.

 

_ But why?! It didn’t make any sense.. Why would he leave?  _ The flea never said why, Shizuo didn’t understand how he could leave the city he used to never leave. 

 

At first, Shizuo didn’t believe it. But after several weeks without a sighting, and learning that many others had gotten a goodbye from him, he had been ecstatic. As time went on though.. He found he was conflicted. He missed their chases, they took out his frustration. There were other emotions he couldn’t seem to understands, questions he wanted answers, but he had no way of getting them.

 

It was just.. Izaya sounded so empty, so upset, so sad, and so heartbroken. SHizuo had never heard him like that.. But why was he acting like that? It didn’t make any sense, what was the reason?  _ WHY? _

 

“Shizuo?” Tom’s voice broke through his thoughts, causing Shizuo to jump slightly and look at him. His senpai frowned, tilting his head. “Are you feeling alright? You’ve been zoning out a lot lately..” He asked.

 

The blonde took a moment to register the question, before he nodded. “Oh.. Yeah I’m alright.. Just thinking about things,” He muttered around his cigarette, before tapping the ashes off. “So, where to next?”

 

“Well, while your head was in the clouds, our manager messaged me and said the last guy came in and paid, so we’re done for the day,” Tom said happily,”So, would you like to go get some food? I’m famished.”

 

Shizuo nodded, and turned to follow his boss. Surprisingly, it was quite quiet around town, probably because it was getting late. But whenever he and Tom were trying to get somewhere, they usually took quieter alleys anyways to make sure Shizuo calmed down after a rowdy client. 

 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t working this time. With nothing to distract Shizuo from his thoughts, he found himself gaining a painful headache as questions pounded at his cranium. He growled slightly, and bit through his cigarette as he turned, taking a different route than their normal. He just kept walking and walking, ignoring Tom’s worried face as he continued walking without a reason. Soon, he the scent of the ocean wafted into his face. 

 

He realized he had reached the docks. Oh.. I didn’t mean to walk that far.. He thought, hearing panting behind him. He turned, seeing a frustrated looking Tom catching up with him. “Shizuo, seriously, are you okay?!” He questioned,”You’ve been acting strange for months now!”

 

The blonde sighed again, his arms falling to his sides. “I’m sorry senpai..” He replied softly,”I just, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately, and I can’t seem to get rid of these thoughts.. It’s bothering me a lot.” 

 

Tom’s frustration melted away as he looked at Shizuo’s conflicted face, realizing just how stressed this was making his junior. He stared for a moment, before moving to lean on the warehouse building in front of them. “Well, bundling it up won’t help,” He pointed out,”It’ll just build up until you snap. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on in your mind, maybe I can help?”   
  


At first, Shizuo was going to adamantly refuse. But then he remembered, Tom knew that Izaya paid off all his damage debts, and left a huge amount of money to pay for any issues in the future. He was unbiased against the raven, despite how mad he used to make Shizuo. Maybe.. If he told Tom, since his senpai was more logical and didn’t force emotions to cloud his judgements, he would know what Shizuo should do.

 

Making up his mind, Shizuo took a breath, opening his mouth, and then-

 

A piercing scream drowned out his voice.

 

Shizuo and Tom both jumped, before looking around. Shizuo growled, his mind registering the voice as that of a child’s. Tom noticed his face, as he quickly, yet quietly declared,”Shizuo, calm down, we don’t know what’s going on and whatever it is, it’s none of our business-”

 

But the enforcer didn’t have time to listen to his senpai, as he took off running down the docks, towards the voice. It had been down by the warehouses, and Shizuo skidded to a stop. He started to walk slower, looking around the warehouses for any clue of the child’s voice. But he heard nothing, until a sudden gunshot rang through the area, followed by the scream of a child again. “DADDY NO!!!” The girl screamed.

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened, as he quickly slid over to where he saw the light coming from. It was near the very end of the empty dock, two people were on the ground, tied up, while a few suit-clad men were throwing something into the ocean. It looked like a man with a bag over his head, but the bag was covered in red. On the ground, the child who most likely screamed now had someone covering her mouth. A man in the middle of a group of these fancy men, a smaller person with a yukata on and white mask over his face suddenly pointed to the child. The girl screamed behind the man’s mouth as another bastard brought a bag, a gun held in their hand.

 

The blonde suddenly felt rage overcome him. Why were they killing them!? He didn't care if they were the fucking dangerous, the kid didn't do anything wrong! 

 

Shizuo grabbed the nearest object, a large light post, crunching it between his fingers. With all his gut, he let out a loud roar, and threw it. Several of the suit-clad men immediately knew what that meant, crying out, and darting out of the way. Instantly, the woman ran over to where her child was, grabbing her and trying to run. 

 

One of the men turned with a gun in hand, aiming at the woman. Shizuo saw this, and let out another roar, galloping over, and slamming his foot into the man’s stomach. The man flew into the air, flailing as he crashed into the ocean. Shizuo felt someone attempt to punch him from behind, he turned, grabbing them and then throwing them into the large group of men nearby. They crashed down, and Shizuo saw something white fly into the air.

 

He ran forward, causing many of the men to panic and run off. Suddenly, Shizuo found himself in front of the kimono man. But now, his face was revealed. He had gray hair, beetle-like eyes, wrinkles, and tan skin. His eyes stared at Shizuo with a sadistic, and daring glance. He obviously felt no remorse for killing those people, but he gave off an aura, a dangerous one. 

 

As if to agree with him, he felt the barrel of several guns against his head.

 

He heard a gasp, and turned his eyes slightly. He saw Tom, frozen with his hands up, and a gun to the back of his head. Shizuo felt rage build up in him, but he didn’t move. He was afraid, afraid he wouldn’t be able to get there in time before either of them were shot. He wasn’t invincible, and he knew just because other gunshots didn’t stop him, that was because nobody ever aimed for his head. These guys were.

 

For several moments, Shizuo stayed tense, thinking that he was going to be shot at. But, the sudden sound of police sirens and gunshots reached everyone’s ears. Without speaking, the suit-clad men all turned and ran, the older man seemed to be surrounded in a protective circle. The mask somehow got back on his face, and they all faded into the night.

 

“Shizuo!!” Tom’s panicked voice cried out, stumbling over with panicked breaths. The cop cars drove into the docks, an ambulance behind them, skidding to a stop as they saw the two freaked out men. Some of the uniformed people ran towards where they’d seen the suit-clad men run to, but the rest ran to the enforcer and his senpai.

 

The next few minutes were a blur, as both Tom and Shizuo were taken to the ambulance, being checked out. After the woman and child were found, the two men suddenly got transferred to a cop car. After many more confused minutes, they suddenly found themselves in a police interrogation room at Ikebukuro’s station.

 

Neither Shizuo nor Tom knew what to say, so they stayed silent. In the dull gray room, with a gray table, and gray chairs, all that they could hear was the ticking of the white clock on the wall farthest from them. It seemed time only slowed with each tick. Finally, there was a knock on the door, and it opened slowly.

 

Two people walked in. One was an older looking man, probably late 30s early 40s, who had a muscular body. He had a head of dark brown hair, some stubble on his face, and glasses that obscured his tired dark eyes. He wasn’t wearing a cop outfit, in fact he was dressed in normal clothes. The woman next to him looked younger, probably around Shizuo’s age, maybe younger. She had hair that was dyed a blonde color, and brown eyes, she was wearing normal clothes as well. 

 

They both took a seat, placing the files in their hands down. The older man spoke. “I’m sure you’re both very flustered and confused right now,” He began,”But please give us a moment before you ask any questions.”

 

When neither man responded, he gestured to himself. “My name is Kouichi Ryu, I’m a detective here, and this is my partner Kuroba Misaki. You were brought here because both of you are now in very grave danger,” He declared.

 

“Danger?” Tom asked,”The does that mean those guys were Yakuza?”

 

The two detectives looked at each other, before the Misaki sighed. “I wish I could give you a straight answer, but the true fact is that we don’t know,” She admitted,”These people suddenly rose up several years ago. They have connections, they’re dangerous, and anybody who knows too much is killed. We and many others are on the case, trying to catch them and put a stop to it, because at this point, Yakuza or not, they are much too dangerous.”

 

“But the reason they’re after you isn’t because of any of that..” The man said,”While we brought you here, we had to shake off many followers. Obviously, they want you two gone. If you have information, that’s what we need. What exactly did you see?”

 

Tom thought for a moment, before it clicked with him. “I saw.. We both saw the man’s face, the dude behind the white mask,” He explained softly.

 

The calm facades of the two detectives melted away, as their dark eyes widened. They looked at each other quickly. “Oh dear.. This is much more serious than I thought..” Ryu whispered aloud,”They’re in terrible danger..”

 

“What? What do you mean?” Shizuo questioned,”Why are we in danger?!” His hands clenched around the table, bending the metal in his fingers.

 

Ryu turned to him. “This organization, they thrive on secrecy. If you saw one of the executive’s faces, you are a threat to them,” She explained,”There’s only one other person who ever saw the faces of the leaders.. And after this organization found out, they-”

 

Misaki stopped herself, suddenly looking angry. She cleared her throat, and firmly said,”We need to move you to a safe house, now. We can’t let you go back to your normal lives. They aren’t above killing your family and friends to keep you silent, and now you’re both key witnesses in a very big case. Your safety is our upmost importance right now, you need to be moved now.” She and Ryu stood up-

 

“Wait!” Shizuo exclaimed, causing the two detectives to stop in their tracks. “My brother, Kasuka, what about him? He’s famous, he’s Yuhei Hanejima.. People know we’re related.. What if they go after him? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he got hurt..”

 

Ryu frowned, and looked down at his files. “Yes.. I know that name,” He answered,”These people will do whatever it takes to find you, and if they realize that Yuhei is your brother, they may try and use him to get to you. We’ll just have to hide him too, it’s only safe.”

 

Misaki nodded. “Is there anyone else we should know about, for either of you?” She asked. Both of them shook their heads. Shizuo’s parents were overseas, and Tom didn’t really have any family, and he didn’t have as much as a reputation as Shizuo anyways.

 

Ryu nodded. “Okay, here’s what’s going to happen,” He began,”We’re going to get your brother here, then we’re going to send some cars out to hopefully trick anyone who may be looking to catch you two. Then, we’ll take you three out the back and move you to a safe house. You probably will remain far from Ikebukuro for quite a while, we don’t know when we’ll be able to close this case. We can’t let you say goodbye to anyone, and we can’t let you pack. We need to move you as soon as possible. I’m sorry, but it’s the only way to ensure your lives.”

 

Neither man knew how to react. Suddenly, they were being ripped from their lives and all they knew. None of their friends could know where they’d gone, and they may not know for a long long time. They were going to have to leave everything behind..

 

All because they had seen a single face.


	3. Safe as Safe Can Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the safe house, your new home, and already home to someone else..
> 
> What could be found here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I churned out a whole chapter in one night for this holy shit. Of course, now that this chapter is out they're going to get longer, so don't expect that as much.
> 
> I'm excited to see how mad you guys are at me~ 
> 
> Enjoy!

Shizuo doesn’t really remember the ride to the safehouse with much clarity, as his head was a mass of guilty, confused thoughts. That old bastards face was spinning in his mind, and he desperately wished he hadn’t seen it. It was because of one damn face all this was happening, why couldn’t he control his temper?!

 

He looked around the van. Misaki was sitting with them, but they could not see where they were driving. Apparently that was for the best, in case anyone saw them or if they were actually being followed, but it just made it more awkward.

 

Next to him, Kasuka was sitting with Yuigadokusonmaru in his lap, petting the unaware kitten with tense fingers. Tom sat across from them, elbows on his knees, and face in his hands. It made Shizuo feel guilt, knowing Tom was in just as much danger as him. Why was one damn face so important?!  


Turning to Misaki, he confusedly asked,”Oi, police lady. Why is it so dangerous that we saw their face? It’s not like anyone else knows what they look like.”

 

“That’s where you’re right and wrong, Heiwajima-san,” Misaki explained,”These people lead double lives. Whoever they may be when they’re not running this crime syndicate, nobody knows, because their alter ego keeps their faces hidden. Now you’ve seen their face, we can find their real name, their real life. You are their biggest threat.”

 

Shizuo listened, realizing just how important that face was to these people. He tried to ingrain it firmly in his memory, knowing he’d have to describe it. But after that, he zoned out again, for the rest of the trip.

 

Finally, the car slowed to a stop. The van doors slid open, and they were allowed out. The three refuges wandered out into a large garage. It was dark, gray colored, and echoey. It was kind of scary..

 

Misaki turned to them, giving a lopsided smile. “I know, it looks bad, but give it a chance,” She said, walking to a heavy door on the side of the garage. She pressed in a code, and opened it for them.

 

They all walked in, Ryu and Misaki’s footsteps echoing behind them, down a hall and to another secure door. They opened that one, and were greeted with an.. Unexpected sight.

 

The safehouse itself was actually much nicer than the exterior safety built around it. The walls were a soft, serene cream color, with dark oak lining and the carpet was a soft, shaggy brown color. The furniture was either white or a tan brown. There were no windows, all the lights were overhead, and the only exit seemed to be the one they were currently standing at.

 

There was a living room with some couches and a tv connected to the wall, a shelf underneath it was a shelf with different consoles and dvd cases. Next to that room was a simple kitchen with some simple pots, pans, an island, a microwave and fridge, and a stove. There was a bathroom door near the corner, and on one side there was a hallway.

 

“Down the hall, there is a room prepared for each of you, luckily we have five bedrooms. One of us will be staying every now and then to keep watch on you while the other works, make sure you don’t hurt yourselves. Almost everything in here is a privilege, use it for an unintended purpose and it will be removed. When we switch officer's, you may request items for us to bring. Nothing too expensive, but we’ll try our best to make you feel at home,” Ryu explained.

 

Misaki nodded, and continued,”Unfortunately neither of us will be here for a few weeks to a few months, since we are in charge of the case we need to cover our tracks. Once everything is calm and we can return, we’ll start investigating. I’ll be taking both your statements before we leave, don’t worry, there are officers all over the other areas for your protection and to run other operations set up here. They won’t both unless you use the phone here to call them, or something dangerous is happening, so let’s start with Tanaka-san, can you tell me exactly what had happened on the night of..”

 

As Shizuo and Tanaka confirmed their statements with the two officers, Kasuka settled on a couch, and leaned back, closing his eyes. He was desperately trying to relax, after a stressful day. He wasn’t mad at being in a safehouse, but when the cops first came to him, he thought his brother had been killed. If he missed a few movies, who cared, as long as his family was safe. Now though, he was just tired.

 

Kasuka slowly began to fall asleep, causing the small kitten on his lap to grow bored. Yuigadokusonmaru mewled sadly, getting antsy. Finally, he leapt off the young man’s lap. First, the kitten wandered over to the four adults, mewling for their attention as well. However, they kept talking. The kitten huffed angrily, before turning and looking down the dark hallway.

 

Yuiga grew adventurous, and trotted down the hall, tail swishing in the air. Each dark oak door had a nameplate on it, but being a cat, he didn’t really care. What did the curious kitten care about, though, was the fact that there was a door at the end of the hall opened a small crack.

 

The kitten galloped over, getting on his hind paws, and pressing his front paws on it. The door quietly slid open, and the kitten slipped in.

 

The room was dark, and silent. At first, Yuiga was going to leave, not seeing anything interesting. But then, something shifted in the corner of the room. The kitten grew excited, wandering over. He saw a skinny human, with a dark, messy head of hair, pale skin, who was leaning in the corner with their hands on the ground, a fuzzy red blanket wrapped around them. That was all the kitten could see through the darkness, but it was enough.

 

The kitten excitedly trotted over to the hand, crouching in front of it excitedly, wiggling his tail for a moment before he pounced, landing straight on the hand. The person gasped in shock, jerking back and looking down towards the kitten.

 

The kitten stumbled a bit after the hand yanked away, and mewled curiously. The head moved to face him, and the voice whispered,”A cat..?”

 

The hand patted around for a moment in the dark before it found the kitten. Instantly, Yuiga meowed happily, pressing his body into the hand. After being pet some more, he moved over, and jumped into the skinny lap. He purred happily, kneading and curling up.

 

“Oh.. Um.. How did you get in here?” He questioned nervously, his hands petting the kitten, and making him purr louder. This went on for a little while, before a hand knocked at the door. The angular face of Ryu appeared in the doorway.

 

He smiled, noticing the cat in the man’s lap. “Ah, so that’s where the little one ran off to, I was wondering,” He explained, shutting the door, and turning on the light.

 

The room was the same color and carpet as outside, but there was minimal furniture. A full sized bed with a dresser next to it, a light switch at the door, and several items all over the floor. Despite the light, the black haired male didn’t wince, and moved to look up. “Who does the cat belong to?” He whispered.

 

“Your new roommates. They’re like you, they saw his face. So they’ll be staying for a while,” Ryu explained. The young man on the floor didn’t respond, and Ryu shuffled his feet a bit, before slyly saying,”I could always introduce you all if you want-”

 

“No,” The skinny male quickly said.

 

Ryu was expecting that, and firmly declared,”Listen. All you’ve done since you’ve been here is isolate yourself. Just come and meet them, you’re probably going to run into each other regardless, so let them meet you now.”

 

“ _NO_ ,” The man hissed,”If we’re going to meet anyways, then let me wait for that. I’m fine without anyone, Ryu, I don’t need anything or anyone. I just need those bastards to get their comeuppance.”

 

Ryu sighed, he’d heard this several times before. He walked over, reaching down and picking the cat up, causing the man to flinch. “Alright.. But by the time I get back, I’d like to know you’ve at least spoke 2 sentences to each other,” He ordered.

 

“No promises, Ryu.. You know me,” The young man said in a depressing tone,”Turn the light off please, I don’t need it on.. And be safe.”

 

Ryu sighed again, and then did as the man asked, turning off the light. “Okay, have a good day..” He whispered, walking out as he shut the door.

 

Once he got back, he placed the kitten back on the now awakeKasuka’s lap. He then went back to Misaki, and softly declared,”I’ll tell them.”

 

Turning to the three on the couch, he said,”Just so you know, there is one other person here under the witness protection program. He’s in the room at the end of the hall, and I’m hoping you’ll meet him eventually. Please don’t try and approach him, let him come to you. He’s a little afraid.. Okay, well, a lot afraid. But he’s been through a lit, so give him a chance.”

 

“Of course, he has been here longer than us anyways, it would be rude to bombard him,” Tom answered for everyone, causing both officers to smile and nod.

 

“Thank you very much. Well, we’ll be leaving now. Please don’t try anything rash, and stay safe,” Misaki whispered hopefully, before walking out with Ryu.

 

The officers were gone with the loud shutting, heavy door, and the noise of a strong security lock. Everyone stared at the door for a long moment, before Shizuo sighed, and leaned back on the couch. “Are there any good movies to watch?” He asked curiously.

 

He found that getting angry would serve no purpose anymore, so why get angry?

 

This was their situation now, they were just going to have to deal with it.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

A few weeks later, nothing had really changed.

 

Everyone fell into their own routine, working with what they could. Using some of the paper and pencils, they had all compiled a list of items they wanted. Nothing too huge, mainly some more clothes, board games, and other dvds.

 

Everyone bided their time differently. Kasuka either was playing with his cat, or reading. Tom and Shizuo talked a lot, or watched movies. But Shizuo also liked to just stay in his room a lot, and think. Think about what Celty, Kadota, and Simon must be thinking. Did they miss him? Were they worried? Was there a way he could warn them?

 

But his mind also drifted towards their strange roommate that, still, none of them had seen. How he managed to sneak out and get food, nobody knew how, but he always left a bad mess behind. Shizuo was a little annoyed by it at first, maybe because whenever their roommate took food, something smelt.. Familiar.

 

“He’s probably afraid,” Kasuka guessed,”He’s been alone for so long, Misaki said he’s not used to other people anymore. Don’t hold it against him, brother, he’ll meet us when he’s ready.”

 

Shizuo knew his brother was right, so he agreed. Despite the fact that curiosity was getting the best of him, and gaining a headache from the strange smell. Oh well, if Kasuka and Tom thought that was best, he would just have to wait a while, they had all the time in the world anyways.

 

But it would not be as long as he thought.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- -- --

 

_“KASUKA!!”_

 

_Shizuo was being held to the ground, his head forced up as he stared at his brother. Tom’s body was on the ground, bloodied up and dead. Shizuo desperately tried to fight it, but for some reason, his strength was gone._

 

_Behind Kasuka was the old man, but his mask was gone. He stared at Shizuo, a smirk crawling on his face. He lifted the gun, and pulled the trigger. Kasuka lurched forward as blood spewed from the front of his head, and he fell flat forward. Blood began to flow, as Shizuo screamed in anguish._

 

_“KASUKA!!”_

 

_Even though he died, Shizuo heard his echoing voice._

 

_“Brother..Brother..”_

 

_“Shizuo..”_

 

_Kasuka slowly lifted his head, alone with Tom, and they stared at Shizuo, blood falling into their wide eyes._

 

_“You did this to us..”_

 

_Shizuo’s eyes widened, and then filled with tears, the old man held up the gun again, in between Shizuo’s eyes. To his horror, haunting smiles crawled up his senpai and brother’s faces, as they nodded. Then, the old man started to pull the trigger._

 

_“NOOO!”_

 

**_BANG!_ **

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

 

Shizuo gasped in horror, jerking up in the bed with wide eyes. He stared at the cream wall, his hands clutching to the sheets as he wheezed out panicked breaths. He hugged himself, looking around the room. _I’m in the safehouse, I’m alive, so is everyone else.. We’re safe._

 

It took several long, stressful moments before he calmed down. That dream.. It was his worst fear, he was terrified of it. He wanted these guys to be caught. Even if there were more dangerous out there, if they got rid of them, his family would be safe. Closing his eyes, sighing, and nodding, Shizuo agreed with himself. Yes.. That’s all he wanted.

 

A sudden noise reached his ears, it was a noise of creaking and clattering. Shizuo blinked at the noise, before pulling out his phone. 1:00am.. Who was up at this time?

 

Shizuo slid out of the bed in his blue pajamas, and slowly opened the door. Suddenly, he found himself overcome with that smell again.. That familiar smell.

 

Slowly, Shizuo creeped down the hall, and looked in the room. He saw a figure in the room, but still couldn’t see well. He reached around, and found the light switch. Lifting it up, the room illuminated. He saw a mop of black hair, pale skin, a long sleeve white shirt, blue jeans, and a cup of water held in a shaky hand. They didn’t seem to realize the light had turned on, and continued to look down.

 

After a while, he slowly took a step forward, opening his mouth to speak. However, his foot kicked against a dvd case they left on the ground. The raven gasped instantly ”Who’s there?!” He whispered fearfully.

 

Even though the man was afraid, the voice pulled something out of Shizuo.. Anger. Shizuo’s hand suddenly grabbed a chair, and then yelled, throwing it. The raven had started moving before Shizuo threw, pushing themselves in the corner as they cried out as the smashing noise.

 

Shizuo watched them then try and get away, his anger fading. But instead of running through the very clear area to their front, they stepped straight onto the splintered metal and wood of the chair. Instantly, they cried out. Shizuo gasped, and then yelled,”Hey! You idiot! What are you doing?! You’re going to get hurt!”

 

He grabbed the man and yanked him up, pulling him up in the air, and away from the chair. But his words had also done something to the man, as his hands wrapped around the blonde’s wrist, and his body froze up in fear. Shizuo felt the freeze and looked down, as the face looked up. Before Shizuo could ask what was his problem, the familiar voice suddenly spoke again.

 

“Shizu-chan..?”

 

Shizuo’s eyes widened, and he looked down. His heart was skipping beats, and his mind was going wild. He looked at the raven, his hand loosening, and his mind going into overload as he finally croaked out.

 

“I-Izaya..?”

 

But something was wrong, something was very wrong. His eyes, staring down at the raven, took in every detail. There were many things that were out of place, but one thing that stood out from the rest. It was the white, congealed layer of film covering the blood red of Izaya’s eyes, and it filled Shizuo with dread, and a realization.

 

The once great Orihara Izaya was blind.


	4. Meeting Again For The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those blind eyes are hiding many secrets
> 
> But for now, the only person they torment is the one hiding them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If only those sad eyes could see the happy moments they have left to see" - Atticus

There was nothing that could be said in those moments. Shizuo could only stare at the man he held in his arms, eyes wide with shock. It was.. It was the one person who would never leave his thoughts, the one who got away, the one who he couldn’t forget about. Izaya.. He was here, had he always been here? What had happened? Why was he here?

 

As these questions filled his mind, Shizuo didn’t realize his grip was loosening until the shirt slipped out of his hand. He had been holding the raven up a few feet, and was jerked out of his thoughts by the sound of Izaya crying out as he hit the ground, not expecting to fall and having no way to tell how high up he was.

 

Shizuo stumbled back a bit, staring down at the other man. He watched Izaya, whose skinny form was shivering, the clothes, frantically grab around in the air, searching for something to help him stand up. His skin was so pale, he almost looked like a ghost. His hair was not the normal short hair he remembered, it was longer, hung over his eyes, which had very obvious bags. But it looked like it was all growing out and irregularly, it looked extremely messy. He looked terrible.

 

“What happened to you?” Shizuo questioned as he moved forward, his strong hand catching Izaya’s wandering one in his own. Izaya gasped in shock, and began violently struggling to pull his hand away. “L-let me go!” His hoarse voice cried,”Don’t touch me!!”

 

Shizuo didn’t have the heart to be annoyed after attacking a blind man, and simply pulled Izaya to his feet before letting go. The raven stumbled on his bare feet for a moment, before pulling his hands to his chest, the long nails nervously scratching up and down his scrawny arms.

 

Before either person could speak, there was the sound of a door opening, causing Izaya to freeze up. “Shizuo?” Tom’s voice called,”What’s going on? What was that noise?!”

 

Another door opened, and Shizuo turned around. Kasuka and Tom were standing there, both looking disgruntled and half-awake. In Kasuka’s arms was his cat, who seemed to get excited the moment he noticed Izaya.

 

Shizuo turned, looking back to Izaya. The blind raven looked extremely uncomfortable, and was shuffling his feet.

 

With Shizuo’s tall physique out of the way, Tom caught sight of their roommate. Knowing the raven well, he instantly recognized him. His eyes widened behind his glasses, as he asked,”Izaya?”

 

Izaya blinked slightly. Obviously this person knew him, but Izaya found himself struggling to recognize the voice. “Who..?” He whispered,”Who is that?”

 

“It’s Tanaka Tom,” The debt collector explained,”And Kasuka.. Can’t you tell? We’re right in front of..”

 

But then Tom saw his eyes, and he froze. “What happened to you?” He asked, repeating the same question Shizuo had asked a minute ago.

 

Izaya’s face turned into a frown, and he hugged himself, his baggy clothes hanging off his scrawny form. “I-It’s none of your business…” He snapped,”I was just trying to get a drink, I just want to be left alone!”

 

“No!” Shizuo growled, causing Izaya to jump. “You just vanished all of sudden! Nobody knew where you went, why you were acting like that?! You would _NEVER_ apologize for all the shit you did, and then all of sudden you were all sad and sorry. You can’t just do that! Why did you act like that, why are you like this?!”

 

Kasuka stared at Izaya, not angry or yelling his own questions. But as he stared at the shaking raven, a thought popped into his head, along with the words that Ryu had told them yesterday. So.. Did that mean that..

 

“You’re the other person who saw their faces.. Aren’t you?” He asked, cutting through the yelling from Shizuo.

 

This question caused the puzzle pieces to finally flick together in Tom and Shizuo’s mind. They both turned to look at Izaya, whose breathing was starting to speed up, his body shaking worse. Everyone went silent, waiting for an answer, and for a moment they thought they might not get one.

 

“Yes..”  Izaya finally stated,”That was me. I.. I saw their face, I saw things they didn’t want me to. I knew too much, they wanted me gone.”

 

“Is that why you’re blind?” Shizuo asked,”Is that why you were saying goodbye? Because they were moving you to the safehouse?”

 

“It’s none of your busin-” Izaya tried to interject.

 

“Or were they coming for you?” Shizuo questioned, moving closer,”So you decided to just leave everything behind instead of giving other people a warning? How do you think your family feels-”

 

“IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!” Izaya yelled, and forcefully pushed Shizuo back. He didn’t go far, and he caught Izaya’s right hand in his, before his eyes widened at something he hadn’t seen before.

 

There was a stark contrast at the color of Izaya’s skin. Different spots were completely scarred over, and there were many patches that matched the old color of Izaya’s skin. They looked like burn scars, and skin grafts.

 

Izaya froze, as if he realized what Shizuo was looking at. Too distracted to make sure Izaya stayed in his hold, the raven was able to yank his arm out and stumble away.

 

Tom and Kasuka dodged just in time, watching Izaya’s shaky hand reach out as he walked as fast as he could away from them. He had been here long enough to know where everything was, but he was too panicked to recognize anything anymore.

 

Finally, his hand came into contact with the corner of the hallway, and he simply took off. He ran down the hall as fast as his weak legs could handle. He counted the doors, along with his panicked breaths, until he finally reached the one that led to the sanctity of his privacy. Izaya then quickly opened it and slammed it shut. There were no locks, for safety purposes, but hopefully the three unwanted roommates would realize he wanted to be left alone.

 

Izaya slid down the door, pulling his legs up to his chest. He stared into the eternal darkness that seemed to swarm his vision. He frantically tried to calm himself, clutching to his pants.

 

 _Why? Why does it have to be them?_ Izaya thought in pain, his arms moving to hug his legs closer as his head hit against his knees. _Why does the universe torture me so? I said goodbye, I apologized.. I never wanted to see them again.. Why don’t you kill me?_

 

Izaya felt the burning in his eyes, as an onslaught of tears began to slide down his cheeks. He felt his nose clog unattractively with snot as he sniffed, using his sleeve to try and wipe them away. His shoulders shook with silent sobs, but Izaya had grown used to crying.

 

After everything he had been through, crying wasn’t the worst that he could do. He didn’t care about his stupid reputation anymore, that Izaya was dead, he died the day he saw behind those masks. That was when his fate was sealed.

 

The raven, after three years of pain and isolation, desperately wished for comfort. But he was too afraid, too suspicious, too lost. So, he turned to the closest thing.

 

Izaya scooted towards the corner of the room, his feet being tickled by the shaggy carpet. His hand patted against the ground, until he finally found it. His hand grabbed the blanket, his blanket. It was his source of comfort in this desolate wasteland that was his life.

 

Pushing himself in the corner, he pulled the blanket up. He pressed his face into the soft fabric, breathing it in. It was just a stupid blanket, but it meant so much more to him than than. It was the last moment of happiness he had, before he had everything he loved yanked away from him..

 

\-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Three Years Ago

May 4th

\-- -- -- -- -- --

 

_“Iza-nii! Open up ours next!”_

 

_“Iza-Nii.. Present”_

 

_Izaya laughed at his sister’s enthusiasm. “Okay! Okay! I will!” He said excitedly, feeling more like a child and more giddy than he had in years. The reason was a simple, yet amazing one. Both his parents were back at home. They had finished their work and taken a vacation, just for his 24th birthday. Having them back in town after not seeing them for so long made all the siblings so happy._

 

_Izaya picked up the hastily wrapped present, and tore through the paper. He opened the box, and revealed something fuzzy. “Oh?” He asked, using his hands to lift it out._

 

_It was a nice blanket, with the top a soft, but flat piece of fleece fabric, and then sown onto it, making up the bottom half of the blanket, was extremely soft, warm berber plush. “A blanket!” He said excitedly._

 

_“Your sisters made it, we all pitched in!” His mother, Kyouko, told him,”Your sisters told us about how much you love soft, fuzzy things. I even taught your dad how to thread a needle.” Shirou rolled his eyes, and muttered something about how he ‘wasn’t that bad’, which made Izaya laugh again._

 

_Kururi and Mairu looked up. “Iza-nii.. Do you like it?” The glasses wearing twin shyly asked, looking up hopefully at her brother. Izaya turned to her, before he smiled, putting the blanket around him before moving forward, and hugging his sisters tightly._

 

_“I love it,” He promised,”It’s perfect!” His sisters grew excited, and hugged him back. “Thank you guys,” Izaya whispered, feeling true, pure happiness for the first time in his life. Soon, his parents joined the hug. He felt so happy, so relaxed, and no need to be suspicious. It was the first time they had all been together in so long, it was amazing. So amazing, that he truly meant it when he opened his mouth, and declared:_

 

_“I love you guys”_

 

\-- -- -- -- -- -- --

He still did..

 

Though claimed not to, he always did.

 

Sadly, those days were no more. Izaya was far away from his family, with no way to visit them. His memory of what they looked like had started to fade, he could barely recall the type of yellow and green his twins, what his parents smiles looked like, or what color the top of the blanket was. _Red..? Brown?_ He felt so horrible, how could he forget something like that?

 

It hurt, it hurt to be away. It hurt to forget. Izaya would do anything to go back. If he could go back, he would fix everything. He’d stop messing with people, he’d let Shizuo live a perfectly peaceful life. He’d do anything.. _Anything_ to see his family again, even if it was just one more time.

 

Another sad, pained sniff escaped him, as he buried his face in the plush of the blanket, fingers digging deep into the fabric. “I miss you.. I miss you all so much.. Please.. Let this be over, I just.. I just want to see you again..” He stuttered out, before letting the dams break, as he sobbed his heart into the blanket.

 

Eventually, the deafening silence of his room became too much to bear. Izaya moved to lay on his side, legs curled close with his body completely hidden under the blanket. He reached out, his hand grabbing his phone.

 

He took the headphones, burying them in his ears, as he pressed the bumpy button on the smooth wires to start his music. Then, Izaya curled deeper under the blanket, burying his face into the warm fabric and closing his unseeing eyes. Listening to the music, he desperately tried to imagine the fabric of his blanket as strong arms around him, but nothing seemed to be able to alleviate the heavy pain that clutched to his broken heart.

 

_For some reason I can't explain_

_I know St. Peter won't call my name_

_Never an honest word_

_But that was when I ruled the world.._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If only those sad eyes could see the happy moments they have left to see" - Atticus


End file.
